


Perfect Life

by YlviscestAnon



Category: Ylvis
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M, Plot Twists, Sibling Incest, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-31
Updated: 2014-10-31
Packaged: 2018-02-23 08:56:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2541803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YlviscestAnon/pseuds/YlviscestAnon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bård and Vegard have a perfect life together, happy as can be - but there is something lurking beneath the surface that makes it so not all is as it seems.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Perfect Life

There were so many great memories about their relationship, there truly were.

Even before they realized there was a mutual attraction to one another – they just had the best time of their life with one another. Coming from the background of struggling comedians, they had the chance between one another to really come up with something great – and they did. They managed to do their best and they felt success, they did, and none of it would have had a chance without the other.

They were bound to one another, they were both old souls. This is something Vegard told him a lot and laughed about, suggested the old hypothesis of how atoms near each other during the big bang always found a way back to one another. Only when he was being romantic would be be so silly with his madness of knowledge, really. 

But it made Bård feel great, even though he may have told Vegard to shut up a few times. He pretended not to care and acted aloof around his brother, especially out in public, but the boundaries they had drawn had meant they had gone and given one hundred percent to one another. 

He could remember their first date – they were giggling and in Germany or something, but the external situation wasn't as important as the feelings and what they went through at the time. They held hands underneath the tablecloth and nobody really looked at them, even with their giggling and acting like general fools on their very first date. They had though calmed down in later years over one another, the pronunciation of their love wasn't as clear.

They really had given everything to one another – Bård just went through the grocery store and picked through random things as he thought about this, unable to wait to get back to their shared flat to share with Vegard what he'd been doing all day without him and everything else of the sort. It was a shame Vegard was sick and couldn't come with him, but it wasn't the first time one of them had been sick.

He could recall how he had first come home with the sniffles one year and it turned into both of them being horribly sick, but Vegard had taken care of both of them with grace and almost ease. He recalled how Vegard went and bought chicken soup for them and made sure their parents knew they were still alive, yet sick, yet fended off their ideas of staying with them until they were better. Vegard had made it his personal mission to make them both feel much, much better.

And he was successful, even though they must have used two boxes of tissues during the time – two full sized boxes. It wasn't as bad as when Bård came home with the stomach flu and occupied the toilet half the time with his retching and throwing up, Vegard was always there to press a cold cloth to his forehead.

It was nothing like the silly times they spent together, like the time Vegard and Bård would play hide and seek in their large but very few hiding spaces sort of flat, that much had been a sight to behold. Or one would come home from doing the shopping and the other would have left a NERF gun by the door and told them to take cover, and soon there would be an all out war. 

How could anyone understand that they had found love in the most unconventional of places, being with each other? They couldn't share it with anyone, but at least nobody questioned them really as they rarely to anyone looked like brothers – and they never showed affection out in public. Whether they were read by strangers as brothers or a gay couple, it didn't matter to him.

Bård didn't even consider himself gay as much as bisexual – he just knew Vegard preferred not to label it at all even, putting in the idea 'if you're who I like right now, then that's that' as what his sexuality was. It was a rather noble cause, wasn't it?

But they didn't consider themselves creeping fetishists either – they weren't doing this even for the sex, the very few and rare occasions they went that far. It was more of an innocent, pure love like that. 

And it was all that was on Bård Ylvisåker's mind. He couldn't wait to get home and see Vegard.

They had built pillow forts before out of the couch and all the pillows in the house, a dining room chair and some like that. It had been beautiful, it truly had been, and they had just spent all day inside of it ignoring their work while watching old movies from their childhood. Their work could wait another day anyways, and they seemed to work best under the threat of high pressure.

So they just loved and loved one another – nobody had ever and nobody would ever find out, Bård made sure of that. They even managed to get through the 24 hour streaming together without showing any romantic inclination toward one another. They had built their walls up so high that it was impossible to penetrate them just about.

Bård knew nobody ever would.

And now that their show was done taping, well, that had been another sort of hell, doing a live show – but it had also been fun for the both of them. He had to laugh a little bit at the idea that they had somehow gotten so famous when they were two giant children who just fell in love somewhere along the line.

He paid for his few items in the basket, and bagged them up – beginning to walk home himself. He could stomach the walk, even though it was pretty cold out still.

Right now they had no obligations, they were as free as birds. They could have gone off into the sunset together riding horses or escaped to somewhere warm like Thailand, but they'd rather stick around their freezing cold home. 

The idea to live with one another and make a home, well, that had been quite a special one – they knew it wouldn't raise many questions, being brothers and being so close in the modern age and all. And alright, maybe it was a little weird, but he couldn't wait to spend the rest of his time with Vegard.

Eventually they would have to separate, it'd be too weird and strange to stick together, but he would worry about that a later time. He was too busy right now as if it was after-wedded bliss, with photographs on the walls and everything they had built up together.

Just what luck was it with them that they never had anyone question them? It was something else, but they were glad not to have gotten the heat. The way they couldn't sit more than a meter apart, the way they could barely stay away from each other at all times, they'd have very little 'what do you even mean' evidence to back themselves up on. 

Bård took in a deep breath of freezing Nordic air. 

He was eternally grateful for Vegard, not just for in sickness, but in health too. Nobody else could make them laugh harder than one another, and nobody could make them rush along their day just so they could see one another again. Things were so great and wonderful in their life, it was bound to be time for something to mess up, wasn't it?

But he knew that would never happen. He dragged a hand through his hair and he knew that could never happen.

All the times Vegard had told him something he wasn't even remotely interested in, Vegard had a way of making him interested in it. All the times Bård had to veto a comedy idea from Vegard, he still did so in an affectionate, playful way, turning him down and only acting like the façade of a bastard that everyone had come to accept and expect from him. 'Very good idea, Vegard, it'll put us out of business, but nice try--' and Vegard would look like a hurt puppy for all of a second, and then it'd be over.

He just couldn't wait to be able to give something back to Vegard – and he had picked up flowers at the store, but still, he meant in the greater sense of the phrase. He couldn't wait to give back to Vegard to show how much the other enriched his life, how much he loved Vegard, just everything. 

They could even find playground equipment and take turns pushing each other on the swing, that was how much of overgrown children they were. But didn't that just mean that they were deeply in love? Love had a funny way of making you act not like an adult and to throw all caution to the wind.

He could remember the hushed confession, soft spoken and expecting great retaliation, but instead, it had received reciprocation. It was just another one of those little things in their lives that they hadn't exactly expected, but something that turned out to be amazing and great.

As he got back to the flat, he walked up the stairs until he was at his own and got out his key and opened up the door. Yes, Vegard was lovely – too lovely for this life, too lovely for all of it's dirtiness and horrible things that happened. That's why they were so charitable, but it wasn't enough, it wasn't going to save Vegard.

He opened the door and pushed through to the inside – he brought the bag to the bedroom where he knew Vegard would be, after having locked back up the apartment. He sidled himself into bed alongside Vegard, and stared up at the ceiling with him.

There was no way to tell when their love was going to end – and Bård couldn't bare it. One night an argument had brought Vegard to bed angry, and Bård stood over him, whispering so many times that he was so sorry but he just was doing this for them as he slid the knife into Vegard's chest.

But now with the cold air, he had Vegard for some time – and the air would clear the stench, but he laid another pile of flowers on top of Vegard. The brown eyes were closed still, the black curls delicately curved over his forehead, and anyone else could have thought Vegard was asleep besides the pale skin and blue lips, the dark red hole in his chest that radiated out blood beneath it.

Bård looked in the bag and took out air freshener, spritzing a bit of it into the air, before setting it down alongside many empty canisters of the same on the bed side table. 

“I love you,” he murmured, pressing a kiss to the cold dead lips.

They would be together forever at this rate. How perfect was life?

**Author's Note:**

> Yep. Happy Halloween? You won't be hearing from me again until NaNoWriMo is over with so I figured I'd leave on this gem.


End file.
